Heart of the Beast

People keep telling me i'm crazy. I probably am. They say this job will be hard. Yeah, it probably will be. But at least I know two things: God didn't design me for easy. and He never promised I would have to do it on my own. So here goes...

I decided to do KLife. It would seem that He's wired me for ministry. Tried to get out of it. Heck I applied for everything other than ministry. But as doors closed He kept bringing me back in my mind to my call when I was 14. Reminding me, albeit unwillingly to listen, that He has called me to a very specific purpose. That purpose is to make Him known. I was terrified to hear His voice then. Still am. But grateful that He speaks all the same. 

That afterall, was the only vision statement I could come up with at Kanakuk. Just repeating Paul in Acts when he basically writes out his vision statement which says, "I count my life NOTHING. No profit to me EXCEPT that I might finish the course of ministry that the Lord has given me, to make known the Gospel of GRACE". so here goes... proclaim til I have no more breath will be the theme of my song. 

So in light of KLife. One of my heroes and mentors wrote this. I found this to fit right into my new job description:

“When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple.” (Acts 9:26)

“As soon as Paul yielded to God’s call, things immediately got worse.” A Work of Heart by Reggie McNeal

The doubt and indecision that immediately filled my heart was almost too overwhelming.  My thoughts were filled with distractions that said,” there is an easier way of going about this and you need to consider other avenues that would be less costly to you and those close to you. Then, this morning in my QT, He made me aware of what the cost would be in agreeing with Him about walking into the, “heart of the beast,” and challenging others to do the same. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that the vision He so graciously gave  me years ago would lead to this. So, my dear brother’s and sister’s let us encourage each other in the days ahead to not be deceived by the evil one’s distractions to take the easy road to lostness, but take on the full armor of God and walk Jesus in the assurance of His presence no matter how dark things may become or seem to be.

Let us respond to His call with obedience knowing that we are in this together with Him.

Walk by the Spirit-Galatians 5:16

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on things of the Spirit.”-Romans 8:5

This week at the Kanakuk Institute we had the Pastor of Park City Presbyterian in Highland Park come to the Institute to teach us about the Holy Spirit. He taught us a range of lessons ranging from spiritual gifts to the roles of the Holy Spirit. He taught us the importance of relying on the Holy Spirit in our own lives.

Throughout the Bible we see the Holy Spirit move in the lives of believers. One of my favorite stories is that of Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch. In Acts 8 we see an Angel of the Lord commanding Philip to go down from Jerusalem towards Gaza taking the desert road. Vs. 29 tells us that the Spirit of the Lord led Philip to go up to a chariot he had spotted on the road. As a result of the Spirit’s prompting and Philip’s obedience to follow through an Ethiopian Eunuch is led to Christ. What’s crazy about this story is that in vs. 39, which says, “when they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord carried Philip away, and the eunuch saw him no more, and went on his way rejoicing.” I love this story because it shows us the immeasurable power of the Holy Spirit and how He guides and directs His people for His glory. I love that the Spirit leads Philip to this divine appointment, resulting in a conversation that ultimately leads an Ethiopian to Christ. I have seen in my own life, conversations that I know happened only as a result of the Holy Spirit’s prompting and leading.

Another story in the Bible in which we see the Spirit’s guidance is that of the story of Zerubbabel. In Zechariah 4 we read Zechariah telling us about Zerubbabel. How Zerubbabel was commanded by the Lord to rebuild the Temple in Jerusalem. Zechariah 4:6 tells us that “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, say the Lord of hosts.” I love this story because it so clearly shows that the Spirit at work in Zerubbabel’s life. That although Zerubbabel may not have known how he would build the Temple of God, God basically says don’t fear...it’ll happen by my SPIRIT. I love this. The Spirit is so clearly seen enabling Zerubbabel to build the Temple as well as putting a passion within his heart to have it completed.

So we see clearly the Spirit directing, instructing, and living within His followers just as He does today. One thing that I loved learning about this week was the Spirit’s personality and how that personality now lives within us. The Spirit can be grieved, angry, patient, loving, caring, insulted, peaceful, full of truth, etc. There are several more characteristics that the Spirit has and as we walk by the Spirit, we carry out His personality and characteristics all the more and at the appropriate times.

My desire is to be full of the Spirit. To walk with ears open to hear His tones and know precisely where He would have me go, and what He would have me do, just as He so clearly spoke to Philip and Zerubbabel. To live a life radically set apart for the use of the Holy Spirit. To live for the beckoning of the Holy Spirit would be a life not built on might, or by power, but an exciting life built solely around the Glory of God. The Spirit will not always lead you to the safest place, but it will always lead you to the advancement behind enemy lines for the advancement of God’s Kingdom. For His joy and for His glory, I’ll strive to walk in the Spirit.

Reckless

“If I am out of my mind, as some say, it is for You, God. If I am in my right mind, it is for you” -2 Corinthians 5:13

I love this verse. I want to be reckless for Jesus. Even if that means people will say I am out of my mind I’m okay with that. Jesus has transformed my life. Flipped everything that I knew…how I view the world, people, and life differently and most definitely for the better. Everything now streams from the gospel. Now don’t get me wrong, I still mess up and say things and think things everyday that I regret. But there is absolutely nothing that I love to talk about more than Jesus. Probably because I know I never deserved what He did for me. It’s absolutely incredible.

That being said, if you give me an opportunity to talk about Jesus, I won’t want to stop. So tonight I’m just going to share how amazing He is. How He transforms lives for the better.

I was living in a city that I will not verbalize online. But let’s just say I was a bit frustrated at the lack of interest towards Jesus over a series of a few weeks. I had tried to have spiritual conversations. Usually as a result of some taxi driver asking me to marry him for my green card, only to find out why I wouldn’t marry him was because I follow Jesus...which generally led to an explanation of how Allah and my God are different. Pretty exciting stuff, except generally speaking, they just wanted to know why I wouldn’t want to marry them. So after many frustrating conversations that only lead to sticky situations I thought to myself, I’m just not going to talk to this taxi driver tonight. I’m done and tired of trying.

Wouldn’t you know that was the one night God was going to examine my heart. I’m riding in my taxi. My driver is up front, long beard, beady eyes, about the age of a 28 year old or so. He’s looking at me in his rear view mirror as he listens to the Koran being played over his ancient car stereo. “You know Jesus, don’t you?” he asks. Taken by surprise I look into the mirror at his eyes. “How do you know?” I asked. He responds with, “I am not sure, but the Koran says I should read the Bible. Do you have one?” In my mind I think to myself, “SERIOUSLY, LORD?!” So as if a divine appointment couldn’t have been more obvious, I find a Bible in my bag and immediately give it to him. He looks at it, “Please don’t give me this new Bible, please find me one that is old so I won’t be taking from you”. I can see him shaking in excitement. “No please,” I say, “I believe Jesus wants me to give this to you”. He smiles back at me through his beard. “I promise to read this,” He says with an eager grin. Then he drops me off as he drives away reading the bible over his car steering wheel….

It’s amazing what I learned from this experience. The moment I don’t depend on MYSELF to share, God always blows my mind. He brings in people who are ready to hear. Who are excited and hungry so that I don’t even have to go look for them. How sweet it is that the Lord, if we depend on His Spirit, He brings conversations to us. If only I could live by the Spirit everyday. Father, please help me to hear the tones of your voices. Make me ready to move, to speak, to turn and to discern your voice when You command me to go. May I be absolutely out of my mind for You.

To live is CHRIST, to die is GAIN

“They triumphed over him [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; 
they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.” –Rev: 12:11

This past week at the Kanakuk Institute we studied Church History. Over three days we started with the Great Commission and ended in present times. It was so interesting to learn how the different denominations began and how different theologians have inspired us and have led us to a deeper understanding of the Lord.

One of my favorite parts of the week though, would have to be the stories of all the people who had given their lives for what they believe in. There are so many incredible stories of how time and time again, followers of Christ were asked to recant from their faith in Jesus Christ in order that they might live, but they never did. These are my heroes. I pray, that if faced with the same decision, I too, would have the faith and strength to stand up for Jesus.

One of the men that was mentioned this week in class was a man by the name of Adoniram Judson. Andoniram Judson became one of the first missionaries to the country of Burma, where he and his wife would continuously suffer trials for the sake of bringing the gospel to the Burmese people. Immediately upon entering Burma, Judson and his wife, Ann, began language studies. But it wouldn’t be until 5 years later that Judson would have a first convert into Christianity.

As the gospel spread throughout Burma and Judson’s completion of translating the Gospel into Burmese was complete, opposition began to rise. Most of the opposition came from the war between Burma and the British East Indian government. The Burmese skepticism of Judson and his western heritage, led them to arrest him and his colleague in 1824. They were then taken to a death prison where they were repeatedly tortured. For eleven months they were kept here, only surviving starvation through the daily visits form Judson’s wife who would bring them as much food as was allowed.

After eleven months in this prison, Judson was moved to an even worse prison. He would be in this prison for six months, again only surviving by his wife’s visits. Judson prison guards were forbidden to execute him due to his phenomenal language skills that the Burmese desired to use for negotiations in the war. Eventually, they would release Judson as a result of British involvement.

Immediately following his release, Judson continued tirelessly in missionary work. However, this wasn’t the end to his trials. His wife would die a few months following his release from prison. He would eventually remarry, many years later to a woman named Sarah Boardman. But after having children together, she too would die leaving him with children to raise on his own.

It would be years later, before Judson would again remarry. He and his third wife served tirelessly in Burma for years sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ boldly. Incredibly enough, Judson’s goal was to share with 100 people and that 100 Burmese would come to know Christ. But as a result of his faithful obedience to the Lord’s calling on his life to live in Burma, over 3,000 Burmese would come to have personal relationships with the Lord Jesus.

Judson would eventually die of a disease. But his faithful obedience to follow the Lord has led Burma to have thousands of Baptist Churches there today. Judson’s story is one of remarkable suffering, but in the midst of it all, his legacy will be remembered forever as one who daily died to self, and gave up his life for the cause of Christ. Adoniram Judson is just one of many heroes of the faith who believed that Jesus Christ and what he did on the cross for us was worth laying down their own lives for the sake of others.

Ya Masra

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/11/world/middleeast/coptics-criticize-egypt-government-over-killings.html?_r=1&ref=global-home

talked to maggie for a short time today. the thing she kept saying over and over again on skype was "pray for egypt. pray for egypt".

Maggie is a Coptic Christian, and in light of the recent Egyptian Revolution, Coptics especially face a hard road ahead. In any event, I agree with Mags, we gotta pray more for Egypt. Waiting for Isaiah 19 to be fulfilled!

Vision

So first week of Kanakuk Institute and we're already told to make our vision statement for our LIVES. yeah HARD. Except that there were some obvious givens. These verses came to mind while pondering over the significance of at least having SOME vision. encourage you to think of one too. It was pretty awesome.

“I do not count my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus Christ, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” –Acts 20:24

“…They glorified God because of me.” –Galatians 1:24

“Seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on the Earth” Col. 3:12

“Know the God of Your father and serve Him with a whole heart and with a willing mind” -1 Ch. 28:9

“For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God, if we are in our right mind, it is for God” -2 Cor 5:13

So, although subject to some change, without further ado, my vision thus far in the school year:

To seek and know God so that I might not count anything more significant than to finish my course in testifying to the gospel of the grace of God so that men might glorify Him because of me.”

"Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,

naught be all else to me, save that thou art;

Thou my best thought by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light."

Waiting

So today I prayed a selfish prayer. My iPod had crashed and I ordered a new one online that said it would be shipped out and arrive by the end of the day monday to my hands! Gosh...life without music...hard. Anyways, it was monday, around noon and we had exactly 5 minutes left before my mom and i would drive to the beach to meet up with the rest of the fam. So, I went outside to load my clothes in the back of the SUV and prayed, "Lord, i know this is slightly ridiculous but it would be so nice of you if my iPod would arrive within the next 5 minutes". And wouldn't you know I said "Amen" just in time to hear a huge UPS truck pull up to my drive and hand me my iPod. He has a great sense of humor and a reminder that His timing is always perfect!

But even now, as I pray for certain requests, remembering how quickly He answered that one, it is still difficult to trust Him with the things I'm "waiting for". I guess it's frustrating in a sense that I know He could tell me the wheres, whens, and hows of what I'm suppose to do/apply for in a split second. But then, I wouldn't be learning the art of waiting upon Him. Matter of fact, I'd probably take the fact that He has a plan for my life for granted. And now I'm clinging to that promise like it's the field with the hidden treasure.

so until i get those answers that He's waiting to reveal to me (and to us), I'll just keep praying, Lord, let Your Kingdom come in my life and in this world. And keep pressing on towards the prize. And prayerfully, will keep my eyes on the cross and what was paid there that ended up flipping my world upside down for the better.

Praying for you all too, as we all seem to be waiting on something.